The F Word
~Ali Hummel
Feminism. A simple word with a simple definition. Feminism is the belief of equality of both man and woman. So then why does such a word make fragile women and even more fragile men squirm in their seats at the audible sound?
Fem·i·nist /ˈfemənəst/.
Does that make you cringe? The world rolling off your tongue. Or perhaps is it breakdancing in your mind with metal spikes for shoes because the world tastes too bitter to say out loud? Whatever may be your reaction to this word, sit with it. Or stand, or lay down or dance with it because whatever you do with that word is exactly what feminism is. It's a choice. It's free will. It's equality for all. So choose what you shall do with this word and embrace this feeling it evokes. Now ask yourself, “Why?” “Why do I have such a negative association to this word?” “Why does a word that simply means equality trigger me so much?”
If you feel this way, you are either a woman (cause ladies first!) who lives a life devoted to appeasing men or, you are a man who lives a life close minded and appeasing yourself. Now this is why we need feminism. Not because women get paid less, not because women fear their lives walking down an alley at night and definitely not because a woman's shelf life is valued on what she does with her body because of course, all these reasons have been justified by anti-feminists. Of course as you may tell, that was sarcasm. Those reasons are just a miniscule amount compared to the ocean sized pool of reasons why we demand feminism.
A major reason why men fear feminism is because they view it as a threat. A jab at their masculinity. A pink glittery knife slicing their dignity. Now these reasons are extremely valid and this is because the patriarchy, which is fought with feminism, has not only affected women, but men a tremendous amount as well. In Adichie’s speech, “We Should All Be Feminists” she declared, “But by far the worst thing we do to males, by making them feel that they have to be hard, is that we leave them with very fragile egos, The more “hard man” the man feels compelled, the weaker his ego it.” This is an issue that is so very prominent in society today and it's horrendous. How has strength turned out to be measured on just how far and how long a man can suppress his feelings? Why is crying delicate for men but acceptable for women without judgment? The phrase, “boys don’t cry” is the weakest thing one can be in opinion of. Men restraining thier emotions is the social normality and this has resulted in higher male suicide rates and depression.
So explain, how is this equivalent to strength? Emotions are not a feeble matter; in fact, to be a man who cries when he feels as though he has to and not a man who sits there and represses it is far more strong. He is going against what he was taught his whole life. The way society raises boys is largely at fault. Adichie explains, “We do a great disservice to boys on how we raise them; we stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way… We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability…to make their true selves.” This mindset is far more detrimental than most realize. Tears around and man’s eye does not emasculate him. It communicates that he is a human with feelings, thoughts, emotions, empathy, and humanity.
Feminism isn't a war against men, it isn't loathing towards men, it’s empowering men for a system that not only wounds women, but damages them too. The patriarchy shrinks women to make them less threatening, to make men appear larger and more powerful, but one can only shrink so far till they get lost amongst the crowd, go unnoticed, and disappear. One can only grow so vast till they erupt in rage and supremacy that once made them feel powerful. Mysogony is a two-edged sword and attempting to tighten your grip on this destructive weapon to stab your opponent more rigidly only cuts your hand deeper. Society needs feminism like the tides need the moon. The way a tree needs the sun. The way humans need equality and humanity from others. Feminist is not a bad word; it's a superpower one would be half-witted to deny.