Okinue Pridgen
The Butterfly Creed
i believe in the fear of people . . .
the fear of crowds , the fear of
school.
i believe in taking the basement
to avoid the crowded hallway
when navigating from class to class.
i believe in never staying in the
actual lunchroom during lunch.
i believe in thinking that when
people see me they don’t think
of me, or notice me,
or perceive me at all . . .
that i’m invisible. and if i were
ever to believe otherwise , i
would cease to exist.
i believe in having a meaningless
existence , when your days and
nights begin to melt into each
other and the feeling that nothing matters.
i believe in staring at your
ceiling for almost an hour
wondering what it would be
like to be able to live as someone else.
i believe in not being able to sleep,
to stay up late and think about what
you could have done differently.
but i believe in less dimmer things too.
i believe in butterflies.
i believe in butterfly beanies.
i believe in always typing in lowercase
letters, and never ever shaving,
and baby cows, and black nails,
and mocha cookie crumble frappuccino’s from starbucks ,
and horror movies, and the color pink,
and the smile that forms while looking at
snapchat memories from three years ago.
i believe in blasting my music in my airpods at an obnoxiously
high volume. and spending an hour in my room, performing full length
lip - synced concerts for the sole entertainment of the
several ghosts that reside in there. and mine.
i believe in looking back at
your old self and being able to laugh
at how dumb and pathetic you were . . .
just like how you’ll be doing a
couple years from now reflecting on your current self.
i believe in missing your old
friends, and not being sad,
but instead appreciating
that they were once in your life.
i believe that happiness is a
beautiful blue butterfly,
something that is hard to
capture and even harder to keep.
i hope that i can catch it someday.
