You Should Have Stayed

​

~Priscila DeJesus 

 

Ripped from the shackles of this world,

where having to hope to survive

is no more--

 

Your heart a burden

I’ll always have to bear--

Never being asked

if I was ready to be

the imprinted road

your tire treads left behind.

 

The grief you’ve left with me

remains knowing not where to go--

 

Enslaved to the neurons of my mind,

holding me hostage--

 

Boards nailed to the ground, forced

to be still while the rest of the world

lives consumed in their own lives.

 

Do you see me now?

 

The bloodshot eyes, sleepless nights--

 

All your fault! If you hadn’t left

maybe then hearts wouldn’t ache so much,

internally shaking worse than a hand with Parkinson's--

 

In all sincerity I know it wasn’t your fault.

If I was given the free pass to give up

the shovel for the ethereal grace

why would I ever want to dig myself out

of that graveI--I don’t hate you for leaving,

it just hurts I wasn’t important enough for you to stay.